Passionate to my Protection
Grateful to my Motivation
Loyal to my Inspiration
It truly is what you make it
So don’t just take
The sound you make When you long to fly And you think you have it all figured out And you leap
Enjoying the view
The depth the perception the distance
The joy the happiness the persistence
Such a fragile commitment
I have made with these walls
Because this powerful trance
Is sure to break if I fall
When will it last?
I can only imagine
Not a clue from the past
‘Cause whats already happened
Is in another dimension
And who cares for her anymore
Lucky for us, she fades
Impacts with her fall
Then dries up like a raindrop in the sun
Never to be heard again
So what is it that you hear
Screaming in your dreams?
Do you wake up and embrace?
Do you go back to sleep?
Far off I can see that I’m fulfilled
As I stand upon this peak
And enjoy this view of you
Just a cry in the dark
Just a whisper in the crowd
Just a thought in the mind
Of a discombobulated me
As I experience new things
I find myself slightly disappointed in you
For shutting me off as quickly
As you turned me on
Intriguing my mind
And making me wonder
And wander away from me
Looking for some happening
Imagining what I could be
If I sought something new
Curiosity gets the best of me
we were NOTHING
like we said we were
like we felt
But the piece to my masterpiece
May have been with you
And I’m left with a sinking feeling
And a faint giggle in my mind
And the two words I uttered about us:
Because I set us up for failure
And pulled the trigger on the trust
Though the bitterness is killing me
I can’t help but feel alive
Though there’s a chance I may never come
To look you in the eyes
There’s a sweetness in the poison
That’s assuring in its ways
That I’m exactly where I should be
Feeling this current mood
Of bitter sweet remorse
Towards the ones I drive away
Words can really hurt
That stupid rhyme makes no sense
I hate him right now
“But we can still believe. We can still stand still as the ground breaks beneath. We can close our eyes. We can hold on to faith. We can let go of fear, and dare to change fate. The inevitable never felt so clear, but we could rest easy here. Knowing we’ve found peace inside. Just grab my hand and hold on tight”
He looked around and saw the burning buildings being crushed. Every beautiful work of art that he admired turned to dust. He panicked and felt rushed to start all over again. Through all of the damage, there was little time for amends. He heard the screams of death and the cries of delay. Debri hit his nose with the smell of decay. And at that moment in time, all he could think to say is, “I’m sorry. I can’t be the one to stay. I can still make it! I just need to leave..” He turned from her, and fled from the scene.
She looked up and screamed, “What has happened to me? This is a disaster… And I still believed! I put all of my faith and energy into this entity that saw no hope in me! Is this how it’s suppose to be? Where did I go wrong?” She wept, sighed deeply, then sang her faithful song.
I want nothing more than to please Him.
And for some reason, today feels like a new season.
As long as I’m breathing, I will thank Him for air.
And I won’t stop believing when life seems unfair.
So devil BEWARE
My Savior’s always there.
He redeems and he cares
Even when I’m lost and scared.
Even when this world says NO!
Even when wrong paths scream YEAH!
I know heaven is the prize.
I know His life was the price.
The Holy Spirit’s the guide.
And I must let go of pride.
Because we all need help.
We can’t just keep to ourselves.
Because we all have gifts.
That we could use to uplift.
So I’m asking you this:
Can you get excited for the way God made you today?
Can you amplify the gifts God gave you today?
Can you thank Him when you pray?
Because love is an action.
And when aimed towards him, there’s this satisfaction
That can not be fulfilled in any other fashion
You see.. He is the passion.
So today before you chase your dreams, please know
That He gives us the seed we need to grow.
Desirous longings leading to dangerous dreams
Insane interactions painting a mythical theme
I must come clean
I’m not big on communication
But due to the shackles of anticipation
And blinding sensations
I just want to write these words
And I just want my voice to be heard
Without a chance of objection… rejection
GIVE ME AFFECTION…
As I scream from the inside of my foresaken mind
As I sing from my heart that runs from pain
Unsure of who’s reign it is under
As I speak and shirink
Speak and shrink
Because I become uncomfortable in my own skin
Afraid of being unrelatable and therefore unattainable
Depression sinks in
But as I let it bleed through this pen…
I share my ripped and torn insides that I try to hide on the regular basis
Within the confined spaces of these pages
Ding, Dong! Ding, Dong! There he is!
My life led me up to this
He’s my picture perfect guy
With the low and shifty eyes
His fancy smell really stuck
Like a passing garbage truck
I was almost angry with
His two hour tardiness
Luckily I packed Patience
In my purse near Tolerance
As he raced me to the car
His courtesy raised the bar
He drove down memory lane
Took a right and racked my brain
Then we reached our destination
In a fair enough location
We went swiftly like some feigns
To watch actors in their scenes
The name of our movie fix
Was Love Licks for Lunatics
He spoke of the plot so soft
That we were escorted off
To see an exclusive, hot
Preview called The Parking Lot
He lost little in the end
He paid nothing to get in
We went speeding down the street
Just to grab a bite to eat
He made such a lovely sound
When he smacked all his food down
As he looked into my eyes
He fixed me a glass of lies
I groaned little going home
When he made calls on his phone
As we walked, he grabbed my hand
Took me to my doorstep, and
This gentlemen, to give bliss,
Bids goodnight then steals a kiss
Laying out the facts
He made me levelheaded
I’ve been a walking hot-tempered mess ever since
I wasn’t prepared for this
And coping with the fact that
That chapter of my life is over
That I may never have that back
That I stand alone
Atleast for now
Is scary and hard to accept
I don’t even know
How to take the next step
I’ve just been drifting
It’s been a while since I’ve taken a leap
Because I keep
It’s weird how little things can remind you of simpler days
I didn’t even see this coming
I guess it takes a hurricane
I’m guessing this is the aftershock of the earthquake
I never knew what to do with you
You were just too much so I shoved you in the closet
Labeled you “Do Not Touch”
Because I never wanted to put a finger on us
It was fragile and it was perfection
Even the stars agree with our connection
I was in acceptance that I could never hate you
A constant denial that I’d no longer date you
And the more I grew complacent
I thought of you as somethin sacred
I knew I would never make it without you
I loved. I shut down. I got curious and looked around. I wasn’t impressed by what I found, and now… I could care less. I was waitin, but I lost my patience, and became complacent with who I knew. Refusing to let in someone new. Only a familiar face would do. You see, I’m pretty lazy. The time it takes to build relations, connect, and get comfortable conversatin drives me crazy. I become extremely self-conscious and critical of my ways. Oh yea, and I’m WAY too paranoid these days. I mean letting someone in on my issues IS an issue. But I get it. I know I’m a poet who acts on emotions and, despite what I knew, I just did it. I’m stuck in my dreams and above everything, I would do anything to just live it. I know that to receive it, I must give it. So I love despite circumstances or time. I love with my heart, and obsess with my mind. It lets me know I’m alive. And as time goes by it thrives, and I feel safe inside. As the world builds pressure to form a jewel of my maturity, I strive for my purity. Because those were the days when this life made sense! Ignorance really is bliss.
She bleeds through me
I am her vocal chords
That make her speak
I am the reason she breathes
She would not see without me
I’m her Creasy Bear, her Bodyguard
I am her best friend
I breathe life into her eyes
I bring pleasure to her hands
And on good days I can pretend
We’ll be together ‘til the end.
She’s my lover and my friend
I’m her lovely little pen
I’m still the same old Shawna
with the same old voice
and the same old tied tongue under pressure.
My eyes still make things a blur when i’m reading something serious to someone special.
My stomach still tightens when I’m anxious to speak
yet my lips tighten more.
I still squeeze a teddy to my tightened stomach for comfort.
I still must write and read out loud to get anything across.
My mind still goes blank when words are spoken that mean much to me.
Tears still flow from my eyes when I’m feeling defeat.
I still direct my writings to people i don’t want to confront.
I still wonder if they’ll ever know how I feel
I still and always will wonder how they feel about me.
I know I can’t get a point across this way.
And still.. nothing is ever simple to me.
I still reminisce upon every word.
I am still emotionally weak.
And I’m sorry.
I throw my heart through rings of fire
and still tell myself nothing will go wrong.
The thing is I haven’t mastered this trick.
And we were young.
We were young.
And hurt at early ages by those we were taught to love!
We grew up.
We grew up.
And was hurt by those we taught ourselves to love!
We have been dragged through the mud.
Through the fire. Through the flood.
We have suffered consequences of self satisfaction.
Consequences of impatience and sinful attractions
And of dreaming beyond our means!
We have cried Mississippi rivers.
Flooded our hearts with pain.
Shut down our dreams.
Built levees as it rained.
But not once did we think to love again.
Because we grew up.
We grew up.
And we were young.
And we no longer see the sun.
Our hearts were pure
But now they’re numb.
We were seven. NEVER one.