Burps and Bubbles

Like love

But worse

Like last

But first

Watch us

Immerse

And kill

This curse

Passionate to my Protection
Grateful to my Motivation
Loyal to my Inspiration
Love.
And Life
It truly is what you make it
So don’t just take
Create it

The sound you make When you long to fly And you think you have it all figured out And you leap

Enjoying the view

The depth the perception the distance

Enjoying you

The joy the happiness the persistence

Such a fragile commitment

I have made with these walls

Because this powerful trance

Is sure to break if I fall

When will it last?

I can only imagine 

Not a clue from the past

‘Cause whats already happened

Is in another dimension

And who cares for her anymore

Lucky for us, she fades

Impacts with her fall

Then dries up like a raindrop in the sun

Never to be heard again

So what is it that you hear

Screaming in your dreams?

Do you wake up and embrace?

Do you go back to sleep?

Far off I can see that I’m fulfilled

Yet incomplete

As I stand upon this peak 

And enjoy this view of you

Just a cry in the dark

Just a whisper in the crowd

Just a thought in the mind 

Of a discombobulated me

As I experience new things

I find myself slightly disappointed in you

For shutting me off as quickly

As you turned me on

Intriguing my mind

And making me wonder

And wander away from me

Looking for some happening

Imagining what I could be 

If I sought something new

Curiosity gets the best of me

and you..

we were NOTHING 

like we said we were

Nothing

like we felt

But the piece to my masterpiece 

May have been with you

And I’m left with a sinking feeling 

Blank pages

And a faint giggle in my mind

And the two words I uttered about us:

“I win..”

Because I set us up for failure

And pulled the trigger on the trust

Though the bitterness is killing me

I can’t help but feel alive

Though there’s a chance I may never come

To look you in the eyes

There’s a sweetness in the poison

That’s assuring in its ways

That I’m exactly where I should be

Feeling this current mood

Of bitter sweet remorse 

Towards the ones I drive away

Words can really hurt

That stupid rhyme makes no sense

I hate him right now

“But we can still believe. We can still stand still as the ground breaks beneath. We can close our eyes. We can hold on to faith. We can let go of fear, and dare to change fate. The inevitable never felt so clear, but we could rest easy here. Knowing we’ve found peace inside. Just grab my hand and hold on tight”

He looked around and saw the burning buildings being crushed. Every beautiful work of art that he admired turned to dust. He panicked and felt rushed to start all over again. Through all of the damage, there was little time for amends. He heard the screams of death and the cries of delay. Debri hit his nose with the smell of decay. And at that moment in time, all he could think to say is, “I’m sorry. I can’t be the one to stay. I can still make it! I just need to leave..” He turned from her, and fled from the scene.

She looked up and screamed, “What has happened to me? This is a disaster… And I still believed! I put all of my faith and energy into this entity that saw no hope in me! Is this how it’s suppose to be? Where did I go wrong?” She wept, sighed deeply, then sang her faithful song.

I want nothing more than to please Him.

And for some reason, today feels like a new season.

As long as I’m breathing, I will thank Him for air.

And I won’t stop believing when life seems unfair.

So devil BEWARE

My Savior’s always there.

He redeems and he cares 

Even when I’m lost and scared. 

Even when this world says NO!

Even when wrong paths scream YEAH!

I know heaven is the prize.

I know His life was the price.

The Holy Spirit’s the guide.

And I must let go of pride.

Because we all need help.

We can’t just keep to ourselves.

Because we all have gifts.

That we could use to uplift.

So I’m asking you this:

Can you get excited for the way God made you today?

Can you amplify the gifts God gave you today?

Can you thank Him when you pray?

Because love is an action.

And when aimed towards him, there’s this satisfaction

That can not be fulfilled in any other fashion

You see.. He is the passion.

So today before you chase your dreams, please know

That He gives us the seed we need to grow.

Desirous longings leading to dangerous dreams

Insane interactions painting a mythical theme

I must come clean

I’m not big on communication

But due to the shackles of anticipation

And blinding sensations

I just want to write these words

And I just want my voice to be heard

Without a chance of objection… rejection

GIVE ME AFFECTION…

As I scream from the inside of my foresaken mind

As I sing from my heart that runs from pain

Unsure of who’s reign it is under

As I speak and shirink

Speak and shrink

Because I become uncomfortable in my own skin

Afraid of being unrelatable and therefore unattainable

Depression sinks in

But as I let it bleed through this pen…

I share my ripped and torn insides that I try to hide on the regular basis

Within the confined spaces of these pages

Ding, Dong! Ding, Dong! There he is!

My life led me up to this

He’s my picture perfect guy

With the low and shifty eyes

His fancy smell really stuck

Like a passing garbage truck

I was almost angry with

His two hour tardiness

Luckily I packed Patience

In my purse near Tolerance

As he raced me to the car

His courtesy raised the bar

He drove down memory lane

Took a right and racked my brain

Then we reached our destination

In a fair enough location

We went swiftly like some feigns

To watch actors in their scenes

The name of our movie fix

Was Love Licks for Lunatics

He spoke of the plot so soft

That we were escorted off

To see an exclusive, hot

Preview called The Parking Lot

He lost little in the end

He paid nothing to get in

We went speeding down the street

Just to grab a bite to eat

He made such a lovely sound

When he smacked all his food down

As he looked into my eyes

He fixed me a glass of lies

I groaned little going home

When he made calls on his phone

As we walked, he grabbed my hand

Took me to my doorstep, and

This gentlemen, to give bliss,

Bids goodnight then steals a kiss

Laying out the facts

He made me levelheaded

I’ve been a walking hot-tempered mess ever since

I wasn’t prepared for this

And coping with the fact that

That chapter of my life is over

That I may never have that back

That I stand alone

Atleast for now

Is scary and hard to accept

I don’t even know

How to take the next step

I’ve just been drifting

It’s been a while since I’ve taken a leap

Because I keep

Falling

On 

My 

Face

It’s weird how little things can remind you of simpler days

I didn’t even see this coming

I guess it takes a hurricane

I’m guessing this is the aftershock of the earthquake

I never knew what to do with you

You were just too much so I shoved you in the closet

Labeled you “Do Not Touch”

Because I never wanted to put a finger on us

It was fragile and it was perfection

Even the stars agree with our connection

I was in acceptance that I could never hate you

A constant denial that I’d no longer date you

And the more I grew complacent

I thought of you as somethin sacred

I knew I would never make it without you

I loved. I shut down. I got curious and looked around. I wasn’t impressed by what I found, and now… I could care less. I was waitin, but I lost my patience, and became complacent with who I knew. Refusing to let in someone new. Only a familiar face would do. You see, I’m pretty lazy. The time it takes to build relations, connect, and get comfortable conversatin drives me crazy. I become extremely self-conscious and critical of my ways. Oh yea, and I’m WAY too paranoid these days. I mean letting someone in on my issues IS an issue. But I get it. I know I’m a poet who acts on emotions and, despite what I knew, I just did it. I’m stuck in my dreams and above everything, I would do anything to just live it. I know that to receive it, I must give it. So I love despite circumstances or time. I love with my heart, and obsess with my mind. It lets me know I’m alive. And as time goes by it thrives, and I feel safe inside. As the world builds pressure to form a jewel of my maturity, I strive for my purity. Because those were the days when this life made sense! Ignorance really is bliss.

She bleeds through me 

I am her vocal chords

That make her speak

I am the reason she breathes

Believe me

She would not see without me

I’m her Creasy Bear, her Bodyguard

I am her best friend

I breathe life into her eyes

I bring pleasure to her hands

And on good days I can pretend

We’ll be together ‘til the end.

She’s my lover and my friend

I’m her lovely little pen

I’m still the same old Shawna 
with the same old voice 
and the same old tied tongue under pressure. 
My eyes still make things a blur when i’m reading something serious to someone special. 
My stomach still tightens when I’m anxious to speak
yet my lips tighten more.
I still squeeze a teddy to my tightened stomach for comfort.  
I still must write and read out loud to get anything across. 
My mind still goes blank when words are spoken that mean much to me. 
Tears still flow from my eyes when I’m feeling defeat. 
I still direct my writings to people i don’t want to confront. 
I still wonder if they’ll ever know how I feel 
I still and always will wonder how they feel about me. 
I know I can’t get a point across this way. 
And still.. nothing is ever simple to me. 
I still reminisce upon every word. 
I am still emotionally weak. 
And I’m sorry. 
I throw my heart through rings of fire 
and still tell myself nothing will go wrong. 
The thing is I haven’t mastered this trick. 
I aim. 
I miss.

And we were young.

We were young.

And hurt at early ages by those we were taught to love!

We grew up. 

We grew up.

And was hurt by those we taught ourselves to love!

We have been dragged through the mud.

Through the fire. Through the flood.

We have suffered consequences of self satisfaction.

Consequences of impatience and sinful attractions

And of dreaming beyond our means!

We have cried Mississippi rivers. 

Flooded our hearts with pain.

Shut down our dreams. 

Built levees as it rained.

But not once did we think to love again.

Because we grew up.

We grew up.

And we were young.

And we no longer see the sun.

Our hearts were pure

But now they’re numb.

We were seven. NEVER one.